The reality of really healing.

I have been to see a lot of ‘healers’, natural medicine practitioners, spiritual coaches and therapists over the years, but here is the one thing I had to learn the hard way: real healing is really exhausting, really taxing and can be quite painful.

The reality of really healing: It’s emotional, it’s intense, it requires deep and unrelenting work to really get to the bottom of what is going on. It takes resilience, strength and a courage that is unlike anything you’ve seen in any Hollywood movie… but it is worth it.

A session with a time line therapist may leave you running to the bathroom for a few days; or sleeping for a week, spontaneously bursting into tears or dancing around the lounge room. A session with an energy healer may send you skipping out of the treatment room, then in a dark night of the soul the week after. The polarity of ‘healing’ is the reason why so many people have 1 session and the revert back to their normal ways.

It is not for the faint hearted.

But if you are brave and willing to leave no stone unturned, lean into the polarity of who you are, shadow and all; after you have shed the emotional baggage and let go of all of the code and energy that you were holding onto that didn’t serve you, dried the tears and made the bed again… comes the inner peace. The gentle whispers from your inner wisdom. The kind thoughts that make your day easier. The joyful ripples that strike you like sunshine and you realise that it was all worth it.

Your journey ‘home’ or to rediscover who you are will not be all rainbows and fairies every step of the way. There will be darkness, there will be sorrow, there will be grief as you let go of all of the programming that you have used to orient your experience to date. There will be goodbyes. You will disconnect and then suddenly, you’ll reconnect. In a brighter, more authentic and real way. Aware of when you’re being triggered for growth and expansion and aware of the wonder all around you.

So don’t stop just when it starts to get hard, push through, the rainbows will come I assure you. Meditate, journal, light a candle and have a bath, let go when you feel the need to cry, let the emotions flow knowing that they are just being processed and flowing through you instead of becoming you. You are not your emotions, emotions are merely energy in motion… so enable the motion and watch where you flow to next.

I promise, there will be wonder.

xo

 

Troubleshooting Judgement

The wonder mindset is all about curiosity, digging deeper, turning things inside out and upside down to find the ‘real’ meaning (for you).

The problem with the world today as I see it is that we are all a little too smart for our own good and we haven’t quite mastered the art of our own systems. We marvel at the technology we hold in our hands but forget to tune into our own thinking and our own hearts. We are quick to judge and quick to think we know. But how much do we really know and how conscious are we in understanding self and understanding what we REALLY think (and feel).

Years ago on my quest to understand intelligence, how people learn, complex problem solving and thinking – I came across a lot of amazing resources to understand logical, creative and abstract thinking.

One of my absolute favourite authors on the power of logical thinking, is Marilyn Vos Savant – Marilyn is an American magazine columnist, author, lecturer, and playwright. She was listed as having the highest recorded intelligence quotient in the Guinness Book of Records, she isn’t just benchmark smart however… she is wise. She took the time to understand that:

To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe. Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not by eliminating our weaknesses.” – Marilyn Vos Savant

So my blog is taking a slightly different approach as we wind down 2018 and move into 2019… I am going to start a series of WONDER QUESTS – to dig a little deeper on a series of topics to help you tune into what you really think and what you really feel.

Today’s quest is understanding JUDGEMENT.

judg·ment
/ˈjəjmənt/
noun
noun: judgement
  1. the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.
    “an error of judgment” – synonyms: discernment, acumen, shrewdness, astuteness, sense, common sense, perception, perspicacity, percipience, acuity, discrimination, reckoning, wisdom, wit, judiciousness, prudence, canniness, sharpness, sharp-wittedness, powers of reasoning, reason, logic
            – an opinion or conclusion.
    “they make subjective judgments about children’s skills”
            – a decision of a court or judge.
    “the Supreme Court upheld the judgment of the Alberta Court of Appeal”
  2. a misfortune or calamity viewed as a divine punishment.
    “the crash had been a judgment on the parents for wickedness”
    IMG_5821.JPG

Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you felt judged? When was the last time you judged? Were you making a sensible conclusion? Or was it a snap judgement?

A few years ago in a rant on facebook, I said “MOST JUDGEMENT is like data analysis without all the data… please gather some more data before you draw the graph… otherwise it is statistically irrelevant”….

What I mean by this is… when we make subjective or objective judgements – we are still doing so with a hell of a lot of inbuilt assumption, bias and well – there really is no other way to put it, our data quality is a bit shit.

So how can we open our minds and transform our consciousness?

By being better scientists.

I talk about WONDER a lot, I also talk about fun WOO WOO stuff too – but in my heart I am a scientist. I am an obsessively curious wonderer who enjoys collecting data and trying to understand the heart of whatever quest or problem is at hand – but I wasn’t always this way. I was guilty of making snap judgements, coming to conclusions without all of the data, collapsing particles into a reality without all of the insights…

You see, a lot of scientists fall into black holes when they go hunting or on a quest… they go researching and collecting data and sometimes never return. The art of great science is about creating awesome experiments. When we have a hypothesis; aim, apparatus, method and conclusion – we can run quick and high quality experiments that will give us something valuable – whether that is an insight, another idea for another experiment or a full blown validated hunch…

 

Poor judgement is just lazy human experimentation.

So my quest for you this week:

USING YOUR WONDER MINDSET TO BETTER UNDERSTAND JUDGEMENT

  1. What are you being judged for right now?
  2. What are you judging others for right now?

Now… go and gather some data…

Hypnothesis: My hypothesis is that the thing you are being judged for or you are judging others for is incomplete in some way and the data is incomplete or flawed.

Aim: Your aim is to gather more data (through communication, conversations) to understand more about the problem, is that the real problem? Is there something bigger at play?

Apparatus: You may use your mobile phone, social media networks, human networks and inner wisdom

Method: Get curious – ask questions, share with people “I am on a quest to understand why I feel judged about this or why I judged that…”

Conclusion: Share your findings….

Looking forward to hearing how you go with this mission.

Your Wonder Conductor xx

What the F*c& is “The Wonder Mindset”…

10 years ago, I embarked on a self development journey that not only changed my MIND it changed my LIFE.

Before we understood neuroplasticity or the power of mindset, I started neurohacking… it started to help me with stress and anxiety – but where it led me was a world of wonder.

If you’ve ever thought you were not good enough. Lacked the self belief to back your decisions in work or in life. Or, felt like you just didn’t have the know how to live a life that you were passionate about?

Then be warned. The WONDER MINDSET may just change your life.

Design Thinking is known today as one of the most effective new methods and mindsets for framing and problem solving. Used by top businesses, consultancies, and governments around the world, for innovation and relevancy, this workshop will utilise this effective new method and mindset to help you reframe and solve problems that will enable you to design a life, career or business for yourself that is well lived and full of wonder.

Why Wonder?? Well, when you start using design thinking and embrace empathy, experimentation, prototyping, fast failure, iterative creativity and test and learn in your life, you start to realise that there is meaning, connectivity, an aliveness to the world around you.

THE WONDER MINDSET has the power to revolutionise your life as you learn to ask the right questions, eliminate old ideas that are not working and test new ideas and solutions.

It isn’t just about solving problems, it is about enlivening your thinking and saturating your world with wonder. It is like moving from 2D thinking to 5D experiential living.

The model I have created shows you how to:

  • Rewire your brain using neuroplasticity to eliminate bad habits and mental constraints that have been holding you back from your full potential.
  • Build a vision for your life – understanding who you want to be, feel and act as a person.
  • Develop a growth mindset to identify key insights and opportunities.
  • Learn the tools for creative thinking to generate better ideas.
  • Understand how to use prototyping to test ideas and solutions.
  • Hack your brain to ease yourself into a more productive state.
  • Order your thoughts using algorithmic thinking.
  • Discover your strengths that will enable you to be more engaged and productive at work.
  • Understand how to take care of your mind using the power of meditation.
  • Develop a mindset that can “solve any problem”.

I’m launching the online program early 2019 and running workshops around Australia. If you want to move from 2D to 5D… then come along for the ride.

Sarah xo

To do great things, we have to step outside of our comfort zone #letyourweirdlightshine

A really inspirational and amazing friend of mine did a facebook live this week (hey Curtis Palmer) sharing with people how my partner Steve and I have helped him this year and it completely moved me. There was one thing that he said that really impacted me and helped me understand my why on a much deeper level. He was doing a facebook live (as part of a challenge I set the group…), I love for people to experience the discomfort and thrill of ‘going live’!! and he said he was nervous doing his first live, but he understood and I had taught him that “to do great things, you have to step outside of your comfort zone.” Boom. YES! So much yes! YES! This is what I have been trying to figure out… why do I do everything I do? Why do I stimulate polarity and wonder and try to get people curious??? Because: To do great things, we have to step outside of our comfort zone!!!! But to step outside of our comfort zone, we have to be curious and brave and full of wonder.

You see I’m a really intense human. I read a lot. I watch a lot of TED talks. I enjoy consuming ideas – prolifically. I love helping people, not in the sort of normal ways though, I love helping people expand their mindsets to improve their lives. The quality of your life is measured by your own perception, so I’m not here to tell you what a quality life looks like – that is up to you. I’m also not here to PUSH you outside of your comfort zone… I’m not Tony Robbins amping you up and then getting you to walk on fire. I want you to WANT to step outside of your comfort zone. I want you to be motivated to craft your best life. I want you to figure out what your comfort zone is and where you’d like to go next. I’m not here to MAKE you do anything… What I can do though, is give you the courage and tools to step outside of your comfort zone so that you can make transformational changes to your mind, to your business and to your life.

I was a weirdo at school. A friendly weirdo, but a weirdo nonetheless. I kept the true depths of my weirdness hidden, for fear of judgement and outcast. As I grew older, I started to understand that my weirdness was a virtue… Watch this awesome talk from my friend J P Sears at Wired for Wonder on “The Virtues of Weirdness”. You see, your weirdness, the stuff that makes YOU unique is what makes you so valuable. It is what is unique to you. So whether you’re looking for your dream job, your dream partner or trying to bring your dream to life… instead of hiding your weirdness, why not lead with it?

Examples of weirdos who have embraced their weirdness:

Richard Branson – we all know him as the loveable eccentric who made the word ‘entrepreneur’ sexy… but this nomadic wanderer is just a big weirdo who allows himself to be freely, utterly, entirely himself. He isn’t hiding the fact that he loves beautiful women, travel and expensive things… he unashamedly owns it and has become a little bit successful in the process.

Steve Jobs – some call him a bit of an egomaniac, but all agree he was a creative genius – he liked wearing the same thing every day and enjoyed exploring unusual concepts and doing things his way… He didn’t try and conform or do things to fit in, he followed his inner weirdo and helped elevate human consciousness through technology.

Esther Hicks – According to Esther and Jerry Hicks, “Abraham” consists of a group of entities which are “interpreted” by Esther Hicks. Abraham have described themselves as “a group consciousness from the non-physical dimension”. They have also said, “We are that which you are. You are the leading edge of that which we are. We are that which is at the heart of all religions.” Abraham has said through Esther that, whenever one feels moments of great love, exhilaration, or pure joy, that is the energy of source and that is who Abraham is. Yep, she speaks to an invisible source of energy, writes books about it and is worth over $10 million USD.

Instead of hiding our inner weirdo, the purpose of life is to embrace it and lead with it.

When we lead with our weirdness (or uniqueness if that feels less polarising), we lead with confidence knowing that this is what makes us valuable. When we lead with value, we lead with vision, when we lead with vision, our energy shifts and we do our best work.

Mr Inner Weirdo on the outside himself sums it up perfectly….”We are at our most productive and creative when we are happy and being ourselves at work” (Richard Branson)

SO…. What makes you weird?? Because I have a little secret… what makes you weird is probably what makes you wonderful.

And when you understand that, you’re more willing to step outside of the comfortable zone you’ve created (where your inner weirdo is on the inside) and move to letting our inner weirdo shine a little on the outside… and when we do that, the world can’t help but want to notice because that is when we realise we are speaking our truth and sharing our wonder.

The difference between SELFISH and SELF LOVE…

A young woman's hands making a heart shape
Self love starts with self.

“Don’t be so selfish!”, “That was SELFISH…”, “I can’t believe how selfish she is”…

None of us want to be considered Selfish. With synonyms like “egocentric, egotistical, inconsiderate, tactless, unkind” it is no wonder!

I believe SELFISH is the biggest hurdle to SELF LOVE out there and we all need to shift from a scarcity to an abundance mindset and take a little time to consciously be more considerate of others. (that is basically what this entire post is about so if you only read a bit of it make that your sound bite)…. Lol.

selfish
ˈsɛlfɪʃ/
adjective
  1. (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.
    “I joined them for selfish reasons”
    synonyms:

    egocentric, egotistic, egotistical, egomaniacal, self-centred, self-regarding, self-absorbed, self-obsessed, self-seeking, self-serving, wrapped up in oneself, inward-looking, introverted, self-loving;

    inconsiderate, thoughtless, unthinking, uncaring, heedless, unmindful, regardless, insensitive, tactless, uncharitable, unkind;
    mean, miserly, grasping, greedy, mercenary, money-grubbing, acquisitive, opportunistic, out for what one can get;
    informallooking after number one, on the make
    “he is just selfish by nature”

Selfish is a horrible word right? Self-seeking, inconsiderate, money-grubbing… Does it mean that any time you profit or take pleasure personally you are being selfish? Or it is just when you are lacking consideration for others? And how can we take action that is concerned with our own personal profit or pleasure while considering all other people? I suppose that is the golden question really isn’t it. Because it appears that any time we profit, others tend to ‘miss out’ or so the ‘scarcity mindset’ would have us believe.

“Being poor requires so much mental energy that those with limited means — be they sugarcane farmers in India or New Jersey mall-goers — are more likely to make mistakes and bad decisions than those with bigger financial cushions.

This is the psychology of scarcity, says Princeton University psychology and public affairs professor Eldar Shafir, PhD, who with Harvard University economist Sendhil Mullainathan, PhD, explores how people’s minds are less efficient when they feel they lack something — whether it is money, time, calories or even companionship.

This scarcity mindset consumes what Shafir calls “mental bandwidth” — brainpower that would otherwise go to less pressing concerns, planning ahead and problem-solving. This deprivation can lead to a life absorbed by preoccupations that impose ongoing cognitive deficits and reinforce self-defeating actions. Shafir and Mullainathan offer insights into how to ease the burden in the 2013 book “Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much” (Times Books).” http://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/02/scarcity.aspx 

The thing about studies like those undertaken by Shafir or Mullainathan is that they point to the importance of mindset in creating significant shifts and driving measurable outcomes. The effect of cognitive shifts on decision making and behaviour was measurable and showed that by adopting an abundance mindset (there is enough) versus a scarcity mindset (I don’t have enough, I am poor), you can change the whole damn outcome.

So lets apply this thinking to SELFISH VERSUS SELF LOVE when it comes to one’s own personal profit or pleasure.

A scarcity mindset would suggest that if I am profiting or receiving pleasure… then someone is missing out. As a result, in this template of thinking, the algorithm basically leads us to believe that when someone is having a good time, there has to be a line of people missing out behind them.

What would happen, if we just flipped this template for a moment. If we just imagined that if someone is receiving profit or pleasure… then those around them are also more likely to receive profit and pleasure (this is more the law of attraction type thinking). Suddenly, as there isn’t anyone being compromised or missing out because of the gain, this moves from selfish to self love… doesn’t it?

Let’s imagine for a second, if there is $100 in a kitty with 5 people in a house (a metaphor for an organisation, family or community perhaps). The kitty doesn’t have any rules, people are welcome to dip into it to use it for spoils as they need to. Ideally benefiting all in the home. If one person spends the $100 on a massage and the other 4 are sat at home wishing they could have a massage too, then technically this is selfish right? What if all 4 voted for the 1 person to go for the massage? Oh that’s nice isn’t it… that is very selfless of them. What if the 1 person who was voted for gave it to the person in the house who probably needed it the most… that is selfless too hey. The key ingredient here is environment and consideration. Having an abundance mindset isn’t just about imagining that the universe will magically provide 4 x $100 massages for the people who miss out. It is about feeling confident that even if you are missing out this time, there will be other times and that people will inherently do the right thing by each other in the community. This energy shift is key. It is also about taking the time to have a look around and see who else is suffering or in need before you go take yourself off for that massage.

If Selfish is (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure… what is Self love and is it the polar opposite?

self-love
noun
 
  1. regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.

The key word here is REGARD.

regard
rɪˈɡɑːd/
verb:
consider or think of in a specified way.
“she regarded London as her base”
synonyms:consider, look on, view, see, hold, think, think of, contemplate, count, judge, deem, estimate, evaluate, interpret, appraise, assess, make of, find, put down as, take for, account, reckon, treat, adjudge, size up, value, rate, gauge, sum up, weigh up
“we regard these results as encouraging”
noun:
1. attention to or concern for something.
“the court must have regard to the principle of welfare”
synonyms:consideration, care, concern, sympathy, thought, mind, notice, heed, attention, interest
“he has no regard for human life”
2. best wishes (used to express friendliness in greetings).
“give her my regards”
synonyms: best wishes, good wishes, greetings, kind/kindest regards, felicitations, salutations, respects, compliments, best, love; More
So in understanding the meaning of these concepts/words…Surely operating from a place where we think about our own well-being and happiness is a good thing right?? Sure, as long as it isn’t just rushing in and meeting our own needs… “oh, I need a massage, I’ll use the $100 in the kitty to go get a massage because that will make me feel well and happy” – because that then moves an action of self-love to that of self-fishness by neglecting to check in with others (consideration). But what about the whole “attach mask before helping others” thing we preach to Mums and Dads out there?? Doesn’t that mean we should be lacking consideration for others if we have unmet needs? This is why the answer is in the meaning of the word REGARD.
You see, if we all go around making sure our needs are met and that we are responsible for our well-being and happiness and personal profit and pleasure – but we do it whilst having a REGARD, a consideration, a thought, a kindness, a respect… with LOVE for others…. then the benefit associated with the profit/pleasure related to wellbeing or happiness (or material or whatever) becomes SELF-LOVE instead of SELFISH – the answer is LOVE. Do things with love and consideration and kindness and thoughts for others… and you’ll never be considered selfish again…. even if you’re the one taking the $100 to take yourself for a massage (hmmmm maybe not the best example but you get what I mean).

Some rules to live by to shift from scarcity mindset and selfishness to abundance mindset and SELF LOVE to boot:

  1. Above all, do all things with LOVE and Consideration – if you’re being loving and doing things with loving energy and demonstrating that you have thought about others, shown others consideration and kindness… then even somewhat more selfish actions and motives are softened (Wow, that is a mouthful and I am certainly going to practice my hardest at this!!)
  2. Look after your health and wellbeing… (sounds so simple…. but definitely need some practice here too!)
  3. Don’t be loving on yourself so much you miss that you’re actually hurting or neglecting others in the process. (whoops, guilty here too)
  4. If there is only $100 in the kitty (metaphor for life in teams, families, communities), take the time to consider who could benefit from the resource the most before rushing in to self service.
  5. Take a little time to scan your environment and think about the needs of others (emotional, financial, health, wellbeing, happiness).
  6. Contemplate…. Consider….Think about things…. do all things consciously and with love and kindness. (I try sooooo hard with this but it is easy to slip into autopilot and miss the signs!)
  7. Ditch the scarcity mindset…. sacrifice this round for someone in greater need, knowing that there is plenty of pleasure and profit for all.

 

 

Before you judge…

rainbow umbrella in mass of black umbrellas
Change the lens, change the view.

Shit happens right. Break ups, break downs, mistakes, wins, promotions, winning the lottery and losing our minds. The problem is with things like fakebook and instaspam everyone feels ‘so connected’ and like they really know each other. The problem with this is that judgement has become hardwired in human nature at the scroll of a finger and the hesitation over the like button. We think we know it all. We think we know when things are good, bad, real, not real – but do we really?

Have we lost our ability to be empathetic? Connected? Curious? Caring?

We were taught at school to walk a mile in someone’s shoes before you judged, yet somehow humans fail to do this time and time again. One of my favourite things to ponder is that judgement is simply data analysis without all the data – the point being, you cannot draw conclusive outcomes with an incomplete data set, so why is it that humans do this every single day?

You instantly know whether you ‘like’ a post you see or not…. but have a think for a moment…

You don’t know the whole story.

You don’t know the entire situation.

You can’t possibly understand everything going on here….

Yet you judged confidently…. you liked, you scrolled past, you may have even screwed up your nose and scoffed….but you have done so in a micro second. Without a conversation. Without the full story. Without the full picture. Without full consciousness.

This needs to stop.

The best thing we can do is suspend our judgement and simply be present. Engage in more conscious opinion making.

Be there rather than 17 steps ahead in the land of conclusions that you’re not qualified to make. Be present and just connect.

This goes for children, at work, friends having a tough time.

Stop. Think. Be present.

Holding an energetic space while a friend, colleague or child makes sense of their own situation is enough. This is also known as “being there” for someone.

We share our lives in these online places, yet we are not sharing our true selves. Many of us don’t know who our true selves are, but let’s be honest, it isn’t the pictures we share, the stories we tell. It’s the moments we are making offline that matter. The conversations. The ah huh moments. Don’t get me wrong, I love technology and the way it extends our reach and facilitates communication, I just think we all need to engage with it in a more switched on and conscious manner… we have to stop mindlessly clicking, scrolling, liking and judging.

If you’re wondering what is going on in my life right now, you’re welcome to ask me – send me a DM, or my email is sarah@thewondertribe.com.au – instead of drawing conclusions or judging, why not just ask?

Xx

The tricky thing about curiosity.

istockphoto-512810252-612x612.jpg

Curiosity is time consuming and can be really bothersome. I feel like sometimes when you get curious, you are rewarded with more lines of enquiry, more work, more conversation, more research, more connections, more discovery, more self limiting beliefs… rather than more wonder. This isn’t always welcome!

When we are walking around in a state of overwhelm – the last thing we want is more to do, more to process, more to understand and comprehend. The easier option is to avoid curiosity at all costs.

Do not ask your coffee waiter their name, where they live, what they like doing – this will distract you from your coffee. Do not ask your taxi driver who they are, when they fell in love, how many children they have. Just stick to the normal “have you been driving long today?” ‘What is the weather like” chit chat. Don’t ask your work colleagues what they did on the weekend, whether they are OK or what their favourite holiday destination is – dear god, leave that can of worms. And do not under any circumstances get curious about yourself, your thoughts, your reality, your self limiting beliefs.

In this day and age where technology allows us to peer into the lives of others, through facebook, Instagram, linkedin and more – the need to refine the art of curiosity becomes even more important.

It seems normal to think: Oh, there’s Sarah, her trip looked lovely, I liked the look of that breakfast she had the other day, I know enough about her now, I might walk the other way.

But what is really going on? What is Sarah feeling, thinking, struggling with, seeking to heal or understand? Why is Sarah posting what she posts? What is she trying to say? What is she really thinking? Is she aware? Is she going through something?

When we take the time to connect and go deeper, get curious and ask questions, we get the juicy stuff – the stuff the pictures can’t tell you, the stuff that helps you build new brain and new connections. The stuff that helps us understand ourselves, each other, the stuff that helps us truly heal and self actualise.

We must encourage our brains to not rest on their laurels, to seek more dopamine from the new connections.

But we have to be bothered. We have to put in the effort with ourselves and with each other. We have to take the time to ask the right questions to peel back the layers to help understand ourselves, our limiting beliefs and each other. Human evolution depends on it.

In a paradigm of constant positivity and gratitude, I took the time to ask myself some big questions, some polarising questions and they led me down a path of self discovery and healing that is changing my life. These questions opened up lots of unresolved limiting beliefs and issues for me to work through. Here they are:

1. What am I disappointed by?

2. What is in conflict between my beliefs and my reality?

3. What am I ungrateful for?

4. If a magic genie gave you 3 wishes, what would you change?

5. Describe your ideal self, now describe how you see yourself now… compare

I think it’s important to get to know ourselves, warts and all. Heal the parts of self that we are covering up or ignoring and tend to our garden within to unleash true happiness and wonder. I’m still on my journey for healing but the curiosity has been worthwhile, for life is but a journey from the day we are born to the day we die to understand, uncover our purpose and heal.

I’m curious to find out whether this inspired you to ask yourself some tricky questions and where it led you!
Xxx

Inward bound: How adventuring inside can nurture your inner health and unleash wonder in your world.

IMG_3462
We live in an age where people are obsessed with crafting their abs, their hair, their lips and butts and boobs – but how much attention are they paying to their inner appearance? Their inner health? Oh and I’m not just talking about your gut.

Mental health isn’t just about not being depressed. True mental health is so much more than that. It’s like tuning one of those old fashioned radios until you can hear your inner dialogue clearly. It’s being able to challenge thoughts that pop up into your head, pruning those that serve you versus the noise and distraction designed to tease and tempt you off your path.

I believe we all have a soul mission. It’s our job in this life to uncover it (easier said than done) and live and speak our truth while we do this. This is called “purpose” by some and when you’re “on track” delivering your soul mission, you will feel focus and passion and a level of energy like no other because you will be in flow.

Flow isn’t just reserved for elite athletes and CEOs – it’s something we can all access provided we listen to our intuition (tune that radio) and our heart. We can condition ourselves as humans to perform well on all fronts, we can practice and play and act out a whole manner of amazing tricks that are both impressive and feel somewhat rewarding – but deep inner satisfaction and happiness only comes when we are living our soul mission and in flow. Until you’re doing this, it’s just a really lovely cocktail of hormones (hello serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine!). These hormones are wondrous and by goodness can they trick you into thinking you’re on track and even in flow – the problem is, like any cocktail, the effects are short lived and the hangover may not be very pretty (and may take a while to show up).

How do I know all this? As a dopamine dealing wonder junkie, I’ve mastered the art of creating a whole stack of wonder in my life. I built a Wonder life. I had vision and I went after everything I could possibly dream of and worked with hubby to build it all out. We worked hard, we played hard. We travelled, we entertained, we drank all the aperol and all the fancy wine. It was only last year between a rather stressful house move, starting my consulting business, hubby unexpectedly getting the sack from a senior executive position and two small children robbing all the sleep from my life that I got so low I realised I was not in flow, on track or living my soul mission. Wow. That’s kinda hard to realise. It was like being hit by lightning. I’m living in this beautiful home in an affluent suburb in Melbourne. I have two beautiful children and a partner who loves me. I’ve launched my dream businesses and they are thriving. I’m pouring my heart and soul into everything I do and then it hits me, I’m not happy. Whoa.

Our happiness is our own responsibility – I truly believe this…. We must chase our dreams (not the dreams of others for us), we must tune in, we must do inner work, get curious and understand ourselves, our strengths, our passions, our obsessions, our fears, our desires, our hopes, our secrets, from here we can really start to listen. We can start to listen to our inner dialogue, to our heart, to our soul. Your soul isn’t going to send you an email with your mission in it. It’s not going to send you an envelope “your mission should you choose to accept it is…” either. You’ll get whispers and feelings, your head, heart and gut are there to help you… like a “warmer, warmer, cooler, cooler” sort of feedback system – people say “you’ll know” and it’s true. You’ll know when you’re on track because of that feeling of flow. Because of that car park you got out the front, the ease of connection, how simple the answers suddenly appear. Even if it’s a mountainous problem you’re facing, it excites rather than frightens you. I’m not saying you won’t feel fear… Fear is a feeling, a good one at that! It can warn you to impending danger… or it can remind you to tune in… “feel the fear and do it anyway” the rewards come next.

The first step to reconnecting with my flow was admitting I was unhappy. Admitting that I wasn’t on track and that some serious stuff had to change, I’m on the journey and each day I get amazing validation through feelings and thoughts that I’m getting back on track and getting into flow. It’s certainly a vulnerable and sometimes painful journey to be on but by god it’s worth it. Already I know this. I have moments of crystal clear clarity, glimpses of my mission, feelings that everything is going to work out. I’m awake. I’m alive. I’m feeling more on purpose and in flow than ever before, all from admitting I was unhappy. It’s like sometimes we are too afraid to feel the feels. We get busy following recipes, trying to be like them or look like that or do that thing or achieve that milestone.

Don’t spend all your time worrying about how you look or how ‘things’ look that you forget to tune into how you FEEL. How you think. How you roll! Don’t spend so much time on the outside that you neglect the inside. Let your inner workout begin and suddenly you’ll discover your soul mission, your passion, your purpose, your flow.

Some questions to start you on your inner work out:
  • What am I disappointed about in my life?
  • What secret thoughts do I have that I avoid tuning into for fear of the pain they may cause?
  • What is my wildest dream?
  • If a genie gave me 3 wishes right now to change 3 things on the inside of me…. what would they be?
  • When does time go really fast for me?
  • What does my favourite day on earth look like? If I only have one day to live how does it start? what am I doing? who am I with? where am I? what am I eating? how am I feeling?
  • What do people typically ask you for help in?
  • If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
  • What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?

Ok you’re 99 years old and looking back on your life, which areas do you give yourself a 10/10 for playing full out and being 100% authentically you…(in no particular order)…

  • Relationship to self
  • Family relationships and Friendships
  • Career/Business/Work
  • Learning and personal growth
  • Fun & Adventure
  • Spirituality
  • Community
  • Sexuality
  • Romance
  • Nurturing the planet
  • Your purpose/soul mission
  • Body
  • Mind
  • Legacy

This is not an all inclusive list, what other areas would you like to focus on? What do you want to give yourself a 10/10 for when you’re 99? What is your long view for your life? A 99 year old who spent all their time worrying about how they looked may be sitting alone in a nursing home wishing they had read more books or worrying about all the relationships they weren’t fully present for. A 99 year old may be walking down the beach in excellent fitness wishing they had taken that risk in business or love instead of worrying so much about money. A 99 year old may be crippled, dreaming about all the places they wished they had been before their body failed them.

Have a long view. Think about your mental fitness, do deep and unrelenting inner work, get curious about your mindset, your soul mission, get inner fit and watch your life start to get into genuine flow.

Three wonder statements to unleash a little extra happiness in your soul.

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Choose words that unleash wonder in your mindset…

Believe in yourself. I’ve heard this in a Disney movie or two… a motivational talk or two… even a self help book or two. I know it all sounds good, but really, how can you believe in yourself?? How can you nurture your inner wonder?

Life isn’t meant to be perfect, that isn’t the lesson. If you never trip up, fail, make ridiculously embarrassing mistakes, then what will your spirit dine out on when you die? Imagine for a second you are looking down on your life, after it is over. You’re able to scroll through the moments like a limitless instagram scroll, each moment, a movie, a time capsule of wonder – the emotions, the experiences, the people, all in dimensions and colour and sensory explosions that you cannot even fathom in this 5 dimensional life we live. You can zoom in, you can press pause, you can also see the bigger context, the moments that led to that one, it is quantum entertainment at its very best. Within this realm, everything makes perfect sense. Every mistake, every decision, every fight, every moment…. you see that in fact it is all connected, there is nothing that isn’t perfect and there isn’t a single moment, breathe, butterfly flying through the sky that isn’t meant to be. That isn’t connected.

“I believe in myself”.

When you zoom out far enough, you realise, that the only thing holding you back is you. Your lack of perspective. Your lack of understanding. Your lack of belief, belief in the bigger picture, belief in deeper meaning, in destiny, in life, in yourself….

When you zoom out and realise…. you are able to see. You are Limitless.

The only limitations we have are the ones we place on ourselves. Our limiting self beliefs, the way we label ourselves, our capabilities, our strengths, our confidence, our abilities…. we are but the limitations we place upon our souls. Undo this right now. Take your hand and place it on your heart and on your tummy and whisper to yourself:

“I am limitless”. 

The next stop is nurturing your self worth. Without self worth, you are worthless. We are but the value we place upon our own atoms. When we nurture our self worth, when we see our own worth, when we understand the special something we bring into the world, we are limitless, we are full of self belief, we are love.

“I am worthy”.

This is feeling like a sermon of some sort…  it has just spilled from a place of contemplation, learning, deep and sorrow filled personal growth and enquiry. Take some time today to repeat these three wonder statements to yourself out loud and see how you go….

“I believe in myself”, “I am limitless”, “I am worthy”.

The greatest advice I have ever been given (so far).

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Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

I’m all about contrast. In contrast we learn, we see, we grow. So, in contrast to my post last year about the least wondrous things I have experienced as a woman in business, I will share with you the greatest advice I have ever been given…by all the people regardless of their sex, race or creed.

Despite some crappy advice along the way, I have created a career and entrepreneurial ecosystem I am proud of and I have met some of the greatest thinkers and doers of our generation. I soak up their advice like a sponge and their thinking has influenced my thinking. In the past decade I have wined and dined with some of the most incredible humans on the planet and been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of some incredible advice, so in no particular order… let the name dropping begin!

  1. “Find your business soul mate…someone who completes you” – Guy Kawasaki
  2. “Your energy flows where your attention goes, so be mindful of where your attention is!” – Dandapani
  3. “In a sea of grey, continue to be neon!” – Michael Harte
  4. “Out of 100 people, only 5 of them will love you, 5 of them will hate you and the other 90 are inbetween, play to the LOVERS!” – Lucy Perry
  5. “If you can play, you’ll win at life” – Nolan Bushnell
  6. “I can’t do it YET, add the yet, you’re capable of anything and everything” – Vicki Nally (Mum)
  7. “What you accept you approve” – Martin Nally (Dad)
  8. “Have a long view, imagine where you want to go, then make it happen” – Wendy McCarthy
  9. “If you want to own the future, you have to get uncomfortable, because out of that discomfort comes greatness” – Cindy Gallop
  10. “Think Positive, believe in yourself, believe you can… and you can… and you will!” – Sean Roocroft (married this one)
  11. “Why not? Truly, just experiment, make it work, give it a go!” – Vanessa Beggs
  12. “Sometimes you have to ignore feedback and just keep being you” – Craig Lauchlan
  13. “You’re creative and clever Sah, own it, you gotta sprinkle your Sarah sparkle everywhere you go” – Kat Turner (my awesome sister)
  14. “Live what you preach… Be present, in the moment and grateful what you have done..write what you have acheived and you will be blown away” – Steve Pirie
  15. “If you want to raise happy and smart children, Create a lab for them to experiment, always make up after an argument in front of them, show them empathy, show them love” – Dr John Medina

See… I got some awesome advice!!!! But it wasn’t all lovely advice and happiness and roses…. along the journey I was ignored; left out, I was bullied, I was oppressed, I was harassed… and the fire in my belly grew every time I was pushed down, it made me want to show people what I was capable of. Maybe growing up in a loving family with clean clothes and food in my belly meant that I was missing the whole adversity thing… but before you imagine silver spoons and easy rides, never fear…the adversity came when I started my career.

I shared the 10 least wondrous things that had happened to me as a woman in business last year… and to be really honest, this was the G version…. #metoo #wheredoistart #toovulnerabletoshare #oneday

I am certainly grateful for all of the contrast in my experience as it has shaped me, my thinking, my capabilities, my approach and of course my attitude. That doesn’t mean that I’d recommend a serving of harrassment, bullying, oppression or carelessness to ‘toughen you up’ – actually, on the contrary, I understand that all the emerging research by amazing humans like Roman Krznaric on empathy, Dr John Medina (Developmental Molecular Biologist and author of brain rules) who talk about the importance of relationships, connection, kindness and Carol Dweck author of mindset and founder of “growth mindset” — the idea that we can grow our brain’s capacity to learn and to solve – means that we actually don’t need to give harsh feedback or outdated advice to try and ‘grow’ people or make them more ‘resilient’ – in fact the best tools we can use to help people thrive include:

  • Empathy – taking time to connect with the person in their experience from their perspective rather than as an observer of their experience from your perspective.
  • Experimentation – an attitude of giving things a go, accepting failure, trying again.
  • Cultivating healthy Relationships – Taking the time to connect face to face.
  • Love – yep, even in business we need to focus on love not fear and take time to connect, share, be vulnerable and care.

I never really know how to end my blogs, I get into this total flow of writing blah blah blah passionate meaningful blah and then I’m like, oh, I’m done – but how do I round this out??? Hmmmm, well the best advice I’ve received hasn’t just come from magazines or books or managers…. it’s come from friends, family and inspirational thought leaders – so if I am to leave you with one thing, it’s this: what is the best advice you’ve received? Who from? How has it helped you create your most wondrous life? Oh and does that person know that they influenced you???? Cos I’m pretty sure half my list are just finding out now. Love you guys and thank you xx